The minister looked up from his porn video
To say the girl’s character was in question,
And so it was unfair to target the man
Who’d maybe broken a few laws
And just been violent.
(When were men ever the problem?)
The minister who was driven everywhere
By her coterie of security guards
Said girls should not go out after 7pm
Where was the need, anyway?
It’s not like they needed to work
Or study, or live a full life.
(That was men’s work.)
At the shop, the man was surprised,
That the girl in pants spoke Kannada.
“If you are real Kannadiga”, he said,
“Why to dress like Westerner?”
(And then he sat back in his Allen Solly shirt
And Park Avenue pants.)
“We are implementing dress code
Indian wear for girls, western formals for boys”
said the college professor,
“Because Western wear corrupts girls
And jeans corrupts everyone.”
(And then she calmly collected bribes
From a trail of greedy parents
Who all agreed.)
The moral police broke into pubs
And hit women who were drinking,
Women who thought they were free.
“They are an insult to Hinduism”, the police said,
“Unlike the sadhus at the Kumbh,
Who stride about naked
And smoke marijuana.”
(They only bring Hinduism honour)
And muftis and imams muffled girls’ voices,
Apparently god had made a mistake
Handing out voiceboxes and long hair
And various other body parts,
To women, and it was imperative
That god was not reminded of it.
(Why rub salt in god’s wounds?)
At a temple in the South,
The priest rubbed his bare tummy,
Folded his dhoti up, then pointed to a girl
And swore: “Tie up your hair. It is vulgar.”
Then he turned to his flock and said,
“Don’t focus on superficial things.
Try to live life with kindness.”
In the movie, the famous star
Had a funny speech about rape
With references to women’s body parts.
It was so funny that families
Roared in laughter, and let their kids see it,
(Misogyny is best started early)
Then, years later, the same star
Led a crusade on TV for women’s rights
And cried when they spoke of violence.
At the home, the woman was beaten
By the husband who said,
“She dominates me too much.”
And her relatives agreed.
“Don’t break up the family for your ego”,
They said to her, “Think of the kids
Isn’t it better they have a father?
So what if they see violence everyday?
At least they will have good Indian family values”
Meanwhile, on a street somewhere,
A banner flies in the air.
“Happy Women’s Day”, it says
Up to 50% discount on all atrocities
(Offer open till stocks last.)